The life of a consultant prepares you in many ways for the world of dating. The butterflies before the cold call (not that a Rules girl would call anyone, at least not in the first three months), the struggle to be noticed by the choosy clients, the hopefulness that rises in you with every proposal submitted, the disappointment of being one of two and not being selected, the constant rejection because they've found someone else.
In many ways, I could say that work is not really work at all; it's just what I do in preparation for dating. Wow, it's just great that I can link the less exciting aspects of my life to the wholly enriching and thrilling past time of being asked out by a short, slightly overweight and very balding man (read painful client with no budget). Can't think why I didn't make the connection before. I could almost say that work is just a warm up for the more serious parts of my life, like trying to meet a man in 3 months before I have to resort to updating online profiles (no, I don't have any) that advertise my age as a 40 year old.
I have to admit that my seeming incapacity to even be asked out for a coffee is concerning. Is there nobody else out there experiencing the same trials?!! Well, yes, I do know of one other person. My flamboyant (and gay) hairdresser, who is constantly dating, but is in the same boat. We have decided to start our own support group, Daters Anonoymous (DA for short). We toyed with the idea of BDA (Bad Daters Anonymous) but decided that anyone who needed to start a support group for dating must necessarily be a bad dater, so we thought we just stick to DA. I can see our first meeting, 'Hi, my name is It Mummy and I am dater.' We could go the whole nine yards and make it a Twelve Step Program, with each step interspersed with a cosmo. You know, I think this could work.....
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday's experts
Well, one can make one of two assumptions from my tardiness in getting to share my thoughts re Friday nights activities. Either I have been ensconced in lovers heaven with a charming intelligent and balanced man or I have been back in the swing of things wondering how the hell I could possibly make 'nothing to report' (NTR) sound interesting.
Whilst I had a fun night with my friends, I'd have to say that the brief time spent in a super cool venue where you can hardly hear, much less see does not fill me with much confidence that this is the way to go about meeting Mr GE. One is more likely to come across Mr Bloody Awful, Mr I've Got No Backbone, or Mr I Just Got Engaged But Can I Facebook You Please As My Fiance is Out of the Country. I am not sure what's worse. The offer to 'facebook' or the comment that I looked like I wasn't in my twenties. Oh, come ON! Use your imagination, boyfriend!
That said, it did provide an ideal opportunity to practice 'the Rules' although at times I felt myself borderline channelling my inner alpha male and wanting to 'fix' stuff so we could just move on. I mean how long does it take a full grown adult male to ask a women for her number. Technically, about 34 seconds. Practically, well, it's indeterminate. I did manage to shut out the voices urging me to take over, aided in large part by the the music (none of which was recognisable, verifying beyond doubt that I am no longer in my twenties). And let me just say, that it wasn't even my number they were after; it was that of my friends. It confirmed for me that my list of specs for a guy could be condensed to a very few traits, one of which would have to be confidence.
So, as far as going back to the video, I don't think there's any need for last week's game. In summary, a solid performance (I actually got there) that leaves plenty of space for improvement.
Whilst I had a fun night with my friends, I'd have to say that the brief time spent in a super cool venue where you can hardly hear, much less see does not fill me with much confidence that this is the way to go about meeting Mr GE. One is more likely to come across Mr Bloody Awful, Mr I've Got No Backbone, or Mr I Just Got Engaged But Can I Facebook You Please As My Fiance is Out of the Country. I am not sure what's worse. The offer to 'facebook' or the comment that I looked like I wasn't in my twenties. Oh, come ON! Use your imagination, boyfriend!
That said, it did provide an ideal opportunity to practice 'the Rules' although at times I felt myself borderline channelling my inner alpha male and wanting to 'fix' stuff so we could just move on. I mean how long does it take a full grown adult male to ask a women for her number. Technically, about 34 seconds. Practically, well, it's indeterminate. I did manage to shut out the voices urging me to take over, aided in large part by the the music (none of which was recognisable, verifying beyond doubt that I am no longer in my twenties). And let me just say, that it wasn't even my number they were after; it was that of my friends. It confirmed for me that my list of specs for a guy could be condensed to a very few traits, one of which would have to be confidence.
So, as far as going back to the video, I don't think there's any need for last week's game. In summary, a solid performance (I actually got there) that leaves plenty of space for improvement.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A game of inches
Strangely, I am one of those women who really love sport. I don't know whether it's because I was a man in a past life, as I was recently told (confirming a suspicion I've had for a long time) or whether because I was never that successful in the sporting arena myself (not from lack of trying).
Whatever the reason/s, I have always found myself inspired by movies about sporting triumphs, like the team of losers who get it together and finally win the premiership. Phar Lap, Jerry McGuire, Remember the Titans, that movie with Dennis Quaid, the name of which escapes me or remember the Karate Kid? (Maybe don't answer that if you can't remember the KK). Anyway, I love the feel good factor of overcoming adversity and winning.
And so I here I am looking for analogies for my current project, Finding Mr GE and I find myself latching on to the 'life is a game of inches' speech made by Al Pacino in the movie, Any Given Sunday. It's half time and the team is getting a lecture from the coach about how the smallest thing, like passing a ball an inch to far in front of or behind a player can make all the difference to the outcome.
It seems the same can be said for the world of dating. By it's very nature, it is so subjective. We are each at the whim of others' particular preferences, mood, desires and judgements at any given moment on any given day, such that the smallest thing can irreversibly change the course of life.
So the best thing we (I) can do is be prepared. Have the vision (meet and marry Mr Good Enough), do the research (read every possible publication on dating, meeting people etc), practice what I've learnt (do the training), so that I can score the try (manage to get asked out), kick the goal (go on the date), and win the premiership (get the guy and the ring and the life together).
Where am I in the season? Just about to start fixtures. My match fitness may not be great, but it soon will be. And look, for this first run onto the field I may be coming straight off the bench, but that's okay. With the heels that I'm wearing out, I'll have all inches covered that I need to.
it mummy
Whatever the reason/s, I have always found myself inspired by movies about sporting triumphs, like the team of losers who get it together and finally win the premiership. Phar Lap, Jerry McGuire, Remember the Titans, that movie with Dennis Quaid, the name of which escapes me or remember the Karate Kid? (Maybe don't answer that if you can't remember the KK). Anyway, I love the feel good factor of overcoming adversity and winning.
And so I here I am looking for analogies for my current project, Finding Mr GE and I find myself latching on to the 'life is a game of inches' speech made by Al Pacino in the movie, Any Given Sunday. It's half time and the team is getting a lecture from the coach about how the smallest thing, like passing a ball an inch to far in front of or behind a player can make all the difference to the outcome.
It seems the same can be said for the world of dating. By it's very nature, it is so subjective. We are each at the whim of others' particular preferences, mood, desires and judgements at any given moment on any given day, such that the smallest thing can irreversibly change the course of life.
So the best thing we (I) can do is be prepared. Have the vision (meet and marry Mr Good Enough), do the research (read every possible publication on dating, meeting people etc), practice what I've learnt (do the training), so that I can score the try (manage to get asked out), kick the goal (go on the date), and win the premiership (get the guy and the ring and the life together).
Where am I in the season? Just about to start fixtures. My match fitness may not be great, but it soon will be. And look, for this first run onto the field I may be coming straight off the bench, but that's okay. With the heels that I'm wearing out, I'll have all inches covered that I need to.
it mummy
Monday, March 8, 2010
After focusing on little else besides work, my bambino, and staying sane for two years, I have decided, with the encouragement of my Commsie (read corporate comms) friend to track for twelve months my foray into a more social world. A world that could potentially (ideally) bring me to Mr Good Enough, who (ideally) would be impressed no end with how I manage my baggage, care for my kid, do my job, and just generally kick goals as an all round 'it mummy'.
As with everything I do, it couldn't possibly be that straightforward. No, for me it's all about the project. It's why I make such a good consultant - I get to work on lots of projects.
I have approached this project the same way I would any other. By researching. So having made the decision to proceed, you know, 'get out there', I've been researching the research into how things get done in the dating world.
In two week-ends I have read four books about dating and how to 'act like a lady and think like a man', following 'the rules' so I know when he's 'just not that into me', so I can find the guy who is Mr Good Enough or perhaps Mr Just Right for Me.
Now I don't feel I've always set my standards impossibly high. On the contrary, there are times when my standards could have done with some serious levitation, however I know that being a person of many lists, I could have gone down the dark road of an impossibly long list of character traits, physical attributes, and interests that I would surely have ended up as Ms No Frickn Way.
Fortunately I've managed to cut myself off at the chase, educate myself, take a serious reality check and realised that closing myself off to possibilities is just silly. So I ask myself the standard consultant's question: What's my outcome?
Outcome: To have had fun meeting some great guys who are impressed not just by intellect, devastating good looks, and mystery, but who are also completely floored by by my oh so amazing Tupperware collection.
As with everything I do, it couldn't possibly be that straightforward. No, for me it's all about the project. It's why I make such a good consultant - I get to work on lots of projects.
I have approached this project the same way I would any other. By researching. So having made the decision to proceed, you know, 'get out there', I've been researching the research into how things get done in the dating world.
In two week-ends I have read four books about dating and how to 'act like a lady and think like a man', following 'the rules' so I know when he's 'just not that into me', so I can find the guy who is Mr Good Enough or perhaps Mr Just Right for Me.
Now I don't feel I've always set my standards impossibly high. On the contrary, there are times when my standards could have done with some serious levitation, however I know that being a person of many lists, I could have gone down the dark road of an impossibly long list of character traits, physical attributes, and interests that I would surely have ended up as Ms No Frickn Way.
Fortunately I've managed to cut myself off at the chase, educate myself, take a serious reality check and realised that closing myself off to possibilities is just silly. So I ask myself the standard consultant's question: What's my outcome?
Outcome: To have had fun meeting some great guys who are impressed not just by intellect, devastating good looks, and mystery, but who are also completely floored by by my oh so amazing Tupperware collection.
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